"It would be many years before I realized that no one was punishing me but me." An excerpt of "And You May Find Yourself...Confessions of a Late-Blooming Gen-X Weirdo"
That whole "trying to shape yourself into someone this guy could love" is, I think, a quintessential elder Gen X experience. We didn't just give up on having autonomous selves, like previous generations of women often did, but we were still raised to believe that claiming a man of our very own was a Very Important Thing. So much time wasted on useless pursuits.
I loved reading this excerpt and heavily related to shapeshifting yourself to fit a mold of what the other person wants you to be. For both relationships and friendships. I bought your Kindle ebook and I can't wait to read more!
Ah, Sari, this is so good. To think how many years of cognitive dissonance I could have spared myself with a 1-900 call! I'm glad you broke on through to the other side.
You had me reminiscing about my Jersey years, camping at North/South Lake, backpacking the Devil's Path. I still have the Coleman stove I bought at Campmor!
I too have sought advice in desperate times from strange sources, but often with mixed results, and more often pushing me to actually decide for myself. But that psychic was spot on!
“Now I know the answer: the guy is unwell. […] He wasn’t just doing it to me. […] The whole time, I’d been taking someone else’s fucked up psychology personally, and tailoring a version of myself to accommodate it.”
That whole "trying to shape yourself into someone this guy could love" is, I think, a quintessential elder Gen X experience. We didn't just give up on having autonomous selves, like previous generations of women often did, but we were still raised to believe that claiming a man of our very own was a Very Important Thing. So much time wasted on useless pursuits.
Yes!
I loved reading this excerpt and heavily related to shapeshifting yourself to fit a mold of what the other person wants you to be. For both relationships and friendships. I bought your Kindle ebook and I can't wait to read more!
Thank you!
Ah, Sari, this is so good. To think how many years of cognitive dissonance I could have spared myself with a 1-900 call! I'm glad you broke on through to the other side.
You had me reminiscing about my Jersey years, camping at North/South Lake, backpacking the Devil's Path. I still have the Coleman stove I bought at Campmor!
Thanks, John! Glad to know you relate, and enjoyed the piece.
I too have sought advice in desperate times from strange sources, but often with mixed results, and more often pushing me to actually decide for myself. But that psychic was spot on!
Right?
I love the psychic! You "get" my own Jewish experience as well. Thank you.
<3
“Now I know the answer: the guy is unwell. […] He wasn’t just doing it to me. […] The whole time, I’d been taking someone else’s fucked up psychology personally, and tailoring a version of myself to accommodate it.”
καὶ γνώσεσθε τὴν ἀλήθειαν, καὶ ἡ ἀλήθεια ἐλευθερώσει ὑμᾶς
[“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”] John 8:32