No Bakers Were Consulted in the Curation of this "Baker's Dozen" of Excellent Personal Essays
Welcome to Memoir Monday—a weekly newsletter featuring the best personal essays from around the web, and a quarterly reading series, brought to you by Narratively, The Rumpus, Catapult, Granta, Guernica, Oldster Magazine, Literary Hub, and Orion Magazine — plus many additional publications.
In addition to the weekly curation, there are now original personal essays under the heading of First Person Singular, for paying subscribers. The latest original essay, published in the First Person Singular series earlier this month, is “Remember Us As We Were” by Kasey Payette. The next original essay is coming this Wednesday.
***Submissions for First Person Singular are now PAUSED. An overwhelming number of new submissions have recently come in (I think because some websites have posted my submissions guidelines and email address?). There are way more essays in my inbox than I could publish in two years. And I’m too overwhelmed to keep bringing in more to read before I go through all those already in there, even with help from recently appointed contributing editor Katie Kosma. (Welcome, Katie!)
Going forward, there will be specific submission periods, which I will announce here. You can find submissions guidelines and more on the “About” page, but, again, submissions are currently PAUSED.
In other news, recently, I launched a new video interview series for paying subscribers. Check out “How to Be Your Own Agent,” the latest video interview with Chloe Caldwell, author of four books including The Red Zone: A Love Story, published last April. Chloe and I talk about how she has acted as her own agent, for the most part, in publishing her books with indie presses.
Essays from partner publications…
Extraction
by Tali Perch
“When your great-grandparents grew up in Stalin’s terror-famine, your grandparents in the Holocaust, and your parents in a straddle between totalitarianism and democracy, you grew up confused about pain. Were you entitled to it? Was it real?”
Kathryn Ma on Growing Up a Librarian’s Daughter
by Kathryn Ma
“What did I learn that summer? That it was a wonderful thing to earn a paycheck. That a good boss who sets expectations, gives you privacy and freedom, and who’s excellent at her own job is somebody you want to impress. And that my mother, who was so phenomenal at home, was well-liked and respected by her colleagues. She had a job, an important one, that had nothing to do with the family. That alone was an illuminating fact.”
On Carrying Our Dead
by Katrina Vandenberg
“Here is what I know: Death is not scary if you spend enough time around it. (Hello, yellow CAUTION tape blocking entry points to the bridges.) The path toward death is different each time, but the markers grow predictable. Also, the effects of death on a living body—say, mine—are cumulative, and each death calls back and piles upon all the earlier ones.”
Passing Down My Sierra Legacy
by Kathleen Canrinus
“To prepare for backpacking trips to Sierra since I was 60, I’ve lifted weights and taken long hikes in nearby hills. But even five years ago, on the first trip with the girls, I huffed and puffed up steep, rutted trails, lagging far behind my then 20-something mountain goat companions…'Let’s do this again,' the girls had said at the end of that adventure….'Don’t wait too long,' I warned them.”
Can You Manifest Financial Abundance?
by Sarah Herrington
“It’s 2022. Fresh out of a graduate degree in the arts, I’ve hired a financial coach to get my shit together. I’ve been teaching along with freelancing, and I want to get clarity on my new financial landscape; things like paying quarterly taxes, budgeting, and whether or not to form an LLC. In my twenties and early thirties, when I worked mostly for other people, I told myself I could forgive a degree of ignorance when it came to my finances—checks came regularly even if they were small. The truth was that I’d been afraid. I had little training in money, and this made me feel anxious and kind of stupid. But now, I’m ready to be empowered.”
Remember Us As We Were
by Kasey Payette
“Now I’m deleting pictures of us from my phone. Another big lesbian love lost to history, but not for the old-fashioned reasons. We’re not closeted. We were never a pair of tragic nuns yearning across convent halls, brushing hands while planting beans. It’s 2023 and we live in Minneapolis.”
Essays from around the web…
My Abortion Wasn’t Easy. That Didn’t Make It Any Less Necessary
by Samantha Mann
“On the day that I was scheduled for the D&C, my wife and I sat silently, side by side in the waiting room of the fertility clinic. The usually lively space was quiet except for the sounds of the fish tank bubbling. It hadn’t occurred to me that this clinic also provided abortions. I’d never wondered why all my attempts at procreation had been scheduled before noon, but now it was clear: Termination procedures took place in the afternoon, and the office understandably wanted to keep these patients separate. About five of us sat stoically waiting for the nurse to call our names. When it was my turn, I focused on each individual step: changing into a gown, putting on a hair net, getting the IV. If I could handle each moment, I figured, I could handle the overall experience.
His Ex-Wife’s Plates
by Holly Connolly
“It was obvious that the rest of her things had to go, but the plates felt different. They were undeniably hers—as her creations they represented maybe the truest essence of her—but they were not quite her possessions; she had given them to him as gifts. It felt like the healthy thing to do was accept them. Everyone has a past. And so they stayed stacked in their drawer. Still, they grated on me, and I looked for ways to belittle them. It helped that there is a type of woman who gets into pottery.”
The National
by A.J. Daulerio
“His gasps grew more and more pronounced. But there was barely any movement—he wasn’t as jumpy as the last couple of nights. There were no more noises either. He shuddered again, and I scooted up near him, grabbed his arm, and touched his chest. ‘I am still here,’ I whispered. ‘And so are you.’…I scrolled through Spotify for songs that would be cinematic enough for whatever was to come. I Google: ‘Which songs are good ones to listen to when your father is about to die?’”
I Saw The Pink Pieces of My Little Heart
by Adina Talve-Goodman
“Instruments start moving, metal-on-metal sounds, and I whip my head from one direction to another, trying to see. The nurse pulls my hair back into a shower cap and tells me that I’m so pretty, she didn’t think I was a patient when she came out to call my name in the waiting room. I smile at her and resist the urge to ask what other patients look like. She means it as a kindness, I know. But pretty is the wrong word, I want to tell her.”
Portrait of a Family: Swans Carry On
by Wendy Mages
“A pair of graceful white swans glides among the flocks of ducks and geese. Although I visit this park often, I’ve never before seen swans…Suddenly, I glimpse a downy grey cygnet swimming between the pair. Diligently guarding their newborn, the two adults carefully navigate the waters, protecting their baby from harm…Marveling at this idyllic trio I, who grew up with divorced parents, long for a time when my own family felt so intact, so safe.”
Stop Ignoring These Connections, They can Turn Your Day (or Life) Around
by Melanie Maure
“I assume he’s homeless. I assume he’s needy. I assume he’s broken…I smile as I approach and have the gall to put the money in his hat instead of his hand. The sting of separation and arrogance is an immediate burn. I want to fish the coins out, correct my ignorance. I say something useless like ‘here you go,’ or ‘have a good day’ and the inevitable “oh, you’re welcome” to his pleading thank you. There is always a pivoting in my legs even as I drop the change—an urge to get away as fast as possible—in case it’s not enough. Not enough connection. Not enough cellular respect. Not enough love. It is a cramping mantra that feeds on all of us—not enough.”
How I Learned to Say “Yes, Chef”
by
“Because to say ‘yes, chef’ without some deeply-set, unnamable hesitation would have meant believing I really was a capable chef as well…And to answer ‘yes, Sam’ without some deeply-set, unnamable hesitation when my son called me Daddy would have meant believing I really was a capable father as well.”
🚨Announcements:
Get ready for the AWP offsite edition of the quarterly Memoir Monday reading series, hosted by Lilly Dancyger! This edition, in Seattle, features Raquel Gutiérrez, Erin Keane, Sabrina Imbler, and Comonghne Felix.
📢 Through February 5th, Memoir Monday founder Lilly Dancyger is considering memoir and essay collection submissions for Barrel House. Per the Barrel House site: “We're interested in full-length memoirs and essay collections that combine personal narrative with... something else. That could be reportage, criticism, history, etc. We're especially interested in projects where the external element has something to do with pop culture, and projects that do something unexpected and original with form and structure.
📢 Marlene Adelstein, author of National bestselling novel, Sophie Last Seen, and professional freelance editor of memoirs and novels, is now accepting new editorial clients. She offers developmental editing, critiques and coaching. Her authors have published with mainstream, small presses, and hybrid publishers. I highly recommend working with Marlene!
📢 Generation Women will be holding a writing retreat in the Catskills March 23-27. Applications close February 13th.
📢 Attention Publications and writers interested in having published essays considered for inclusion in our weekly curation:
By Thursday of each week, please send to memoirmonday@gmail.com:
The title of the essay and a link to it.
The name of the author, and the author’s Twitter handle.
A paragraph or a few lines from the piece that will most entice readers.
Because of data limits for many email platforms, going forward we will only include artwork from our partner publications. No need to send art.
*Please be advised, however, that we cannot accept all submissions, nor respond to the overwhelming number of emails received. Also, please note that we don’t accept author submissions from our partner publications.
You can also support Memoir Monday—and indie bookstores!—by browsing this Bookshop.org list of every book that’s been featured at the Memoir Monday reading series. It’s a great place to find some new titles to add to your TBR list!
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