The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #15: Chelsea Devantez

"I wanted to write the kind of book I am always looking for when I pick up another woman’s memoir."

Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.

Here’s the fifteenth installment, featuring Chelsea Devantez, comedian, screenwriter, podcaster, and author of the memoir-in-essays I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This (But I’m Going to Anyway). -Sari Botton

---

Chelsea Devantez is a comedian, writer, and filmmaker who grew up all over the Southwest before finally landing in New Mexico. After moving across the country she became a comedian and performer at the Second City Mainstage in Chicago, and later became Jon Stewart's head writer. She has written for numerous TV shows, including Girls5Eva and Not Dead Yet, where she is a co-executive producer. She started her podcast, Glamorous Trash, in the pandemic, where she recaps female celebrity memoirs. After getting deep with these memoirs she finally began opening up about her own life, which inspired her upcoming "comedy gal memoir," titled: I Shouldn't Be Telling You This, which came out on June 4th from HarperCollins. 

--

How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?

I’m 37 years old. I’ve been paying my rent as a comedian and writer since I was 24 years old (though let’s be clear, my rent was $300 and my first job was performing on a cruise ship). My first professional WGA Union TV writing job arrived when I was 29 years old, and I’ve been a screenwriter for the past eight years. 

What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?

I Shouldn’t Be Telling You This (But I’m Going to Anyway) published June 4th, 2024.

What number book is this for you?

This is my first book!

How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?

I would call my book a “comedy gal memoir.” It could live on a shelf next to other books like Mindy Kaling or Tina Fey’s, because it is a memoir and it does cover my career in Hollywood and half of the book is very funny. But the other half of the book is absolutely harrowing trauma! The book covers the course of my life, but it’s a bit of a memoir in essays because each chapter title in my book is a different woman’s name of someone who had a massive impact in my life. Some of these women are heroes, but some of them are villains, but hey, either way, they’re both a leading role, and we do love a female lead!

What is the “elevator pitch” for your book? (Up to one paragraph.)

It’s an absolutely harrowing… comedy memoir. Do you like cults? Devastating female best friend break ups? Doctors mis-diagnosing you as pregnant? Finding out your dad is not your real dad? Dating a much older magician? No?? WELL ME EITHER BUT THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!! Also, do we think the dad thing is related to the dating a magician thing?? Probably, right?? Read the book and decide for yourself!

The book covers the course of my life, but it’s a bit of a memoir in essays because each chapter title in my book is a different woman’s name of someone who had a massive impact in my life. Some of these women are heroes, but some of them are villains, but hey, either way, they’re both a leading role, and we do love a female lead!

What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?

I have always loved memoirs, in fact, my favorite book genre growing up was always Celebrity Memoirs — that’s what happens when your nearest bookstore growing up is a Wal-Mart! I did eventually find a library and loved reading all kinds of books, but kept loving memoirs. Despite the world stereotyping celeb memoirs as “chick lit trash,” female celebrity memoirs were the only books where I found stories about abuse, power struggles, misogyny, abortion, bad relationships and body image issues that also felt very real, authentic, messy, timely… and honestly, accessible.  

I grew up poor in small towns and had absolutely no idea how to get to Hollywood, so I loved reading these books and combing through them for gems of wisdom as to how I could get into entertainment, too. Eventually I became a performer at The Second City, Chicago and later would become a TV writer and Jon Stewart’s head writer, but I always had this deep urge to write a memoir one day. I wanted to write the kind of book I am always looking for when I pick up another woman’s memoir. 

Then, in the pandemic I started my podcast, Glamorous Trash, which covers female celebrity memoirs in a dishy, but thoughtful way. During a few episodes where the books deeply moved me (Demi Moore, Tina Turner, and Jane Fonda) I began to open up about my own life story in small ways, and from there the messages poured in, and writing a memoir became a reality. 

Order the book…

What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?

Working at my other writing jobs and running a podcast while trying to write the memoir. Also, I got married about a month after I turned in the first draft, so a lot was happening all at once. Second to that would be the process of picking a title with my publisher and agreeing on cover art — I dare say that was harder than even writing the damn book. We must have gone through 100 title ideas before we could agree on one. Oh, and the legal read was also hell! 

How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?

Part of what is discussed in the book is that I live with c-PTSD which stands for Complex - PTSD, and in the book are both stories of the things I lived through that led to that diagnosis, and also what it’s like to live with it. Oftentimes people think of trauma as a bad feeling, but trauma quite literally changes your brain, and it can physically disrupt time and memory. Sooooo NOT GREAT when you are writing a memoir! Checking in with my family and having them read the book was not only important to make sure I got everything correct, but I knew it would be a deeply emotional part of the process.

Luckily, I also journaled voraciously as a child. I mean… a truly intense amount of journaling. I have 21 art books just filled to the brim. So first I checked everything in the book against the journals (which took forever, and oftentimes felt like journeying through hell as I was swept back into the past) and then when I felt solid about the manuscript I sent the book or specific chapters to everyone I deeply loved who I knew would be tremendously affected by what I had written. I changed almost everyone’s names so that they would feel some level of protection about what I was about to make public, and gave them the option to use their real name instead, which only two people opted in for, ha! The reactions ranged, but overall they were life changing and very positive. One of my brothers asked that I use his real name, because he wanted to be able to show the book to his future kids and have an account of what we had lived through, and he gave me permission to include even darker details about his father that I had kept out.

My biggest fear was of course that the book would tear my mom and I apart, and though it's been extremely difficult for her to read it, it’s brought us closer together because I had been hiding so much of my pain from her, there was no way we could truly be close when I wasn’t being my actual self. I didn’t have to change much because I had already consulted with people over certain memories, so it was more about the emotional processing of what was in the book, rather than changing facts or details. I won’t spoil it, but there was someone in the book I’d written about and it paints them (and me) in a negative light. When I gave them the chapter out of respect, it actually healed our relationship, which was something I never thought possible. 

I have always loved memoirs, in fact, my favorite book genre growing up was always Celebrity Memoirs — that’s what happens when your nearest bookstore growing up is a Wal-Mart!…Despite the world stereotyping celeb memoirs as “chick lit trash,” female celebrity memoirs were the only books where I found stories about abuse, power struggles, misogyny, abortion, bad relationships and body image issues that also felt very real, authentic, messy, timely… and honestly, accessible.  

Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)

There are probably 100 books that inspired me, so instead may I share a quote that I thought a lot about as I was writing? 

"Men who make the rules tend to dismiss memoir, because they're just not as good at it as women are. Their capacity to be truthful is limited by the fact that they're the ones with power. And it's not useful, if you are the ones with power, to tell the truth about yourself.” - Elizabeth Wurtzel 

What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?

There were a few years where I knew I had something in me to say, but just didn’t know how to get it out. I began taking every single workshop I could find and listening to every podcast about writing and reading every tedious book about it. One day I was so fucking sick of learning I just couldn’t learn anymore, and after that…I could suddenly write.

I would also say that you should read every book you can until you find three that you love. Once you have that, you have everything you need to know to write your own. 

I will happily plug my own writing workshop that I am teaching while on my book tour. I realized that younger me would have maybe gone to a show an author put on, but she would have RUN to a workshop, so I’m teaching this workshop for her (and now you!). 

What do you love about writing?

I love revisiting my writing years after I’ve written it. I know that at the time I wrote my journals I would think what I was writing was so dumb, and even say so on the page. But every time I revisit a journal of mine, the writing strikes me as so special, and I’m so happy I have a glimpse of my brain in that moment. I think I’ll feel the same thing about my book eventually too. It’s such a gift to have something tangible from your own mind in the past and see how far you’ve come. Even when what I created was not that great, I love revisiting things I’ve made and can always appreciate that girl who was trying so hard and feeling so much. 

What frustrates you about writing?

Grammar and commas. We moved a lot when I was a kid and I missed those years in school when grammar and commas were taught and so I always struggle with it. 

What about writing surprises you?

How much it needs to change when you practice performing it out loud. 

Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine, or writing at specific times?

My background is specifically improv comedy and late night comedy, so all of my training occurred in grimy basement theaters, and I absolutely do not have a cute adorable writer’s nook where all the magic takes place. Sometimes I write while lying down in bed and other times I have my head on the dining room table because I’m so tired, but I keep pushing my fingers to type. If I had my druthers, everything I write would be from a hot tub — if you only open half the lid, now you have a standing desk to place your laptop on! 

There were a few years where I knew I had something in me to say, but just didn’t know how to get it out. I began taking every single workshop I could find and listening to every podcast about writing and reading every tedious book about it. One day I was so fucking sick of learning I just couldn’t learn anymore, and after that…I could suddenly write.

Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?

Professionally I have a book podcast and my day job is TV and Film writing, so I’m constantly reading and writing, which is wonderful, because those are the things I love most! Sadly, it does not leave a lot of room for me to build out other cool hobbies: I don’t play an instrument, I’m fucking horrible at cooking, and my house is a constant mess. I do love playing two person card games with my husband, and walking my dog. I love taking in other art and consider that to be supportive. Also doing therapy with my trauma therapist — that REALLY supports my process. I love going out to the movies. I hate parties, but LOVE events, and I’ll go anywhere with a hot tub.

What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?

Next up I am hopefully about to direct a feature film that I also wrote, based on this very short film I made in 2019 that went to SXSW. I’m also going on a two week long book and podcast tour starting on June 4th. The first show was in NYC with Jon Stewart! Other than that I hope I get some cool hobbies so that I’m too busy to look at Goodreads reviews. Wish me luck! 

---

Check out all the interviews in The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire series.