The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #35: Shalom Auslander
"I’m usually the biggest schmuck in the book, so I think that helps."
Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.
Here’s the thirty-fifth installment, featuring Shalom Auslander, author of several books, most recently Feh: A Memoir. -Sari Botton
Shalom Auslander is the critically acclaimed author of the memoir Foreskin’s Lament, as well as the short story collection Beware of God, and the novels Hope: A Tragedy and Mother for Dinner. The winner of numerous awards including the James Thurber Award, his work has appeared around the world, from The New Yorker to The Guardian, and he is also the creator and writer of Showtime’s Happyish. His website is shalomauslander.com, and he writes Shalom Auslander's Fetal Position newsletter on Substack. He has been asked to answer this question in the third person, which he finds disturbing.
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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?
I’m 54 years old, so including the womb — almost 55.
What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?
Feh: A Memoir. July 23, 2024
What number book is this for you?
Five.
How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?
Yes. Yes. Not really. Sure. No. Huh?
What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?
“Hello! You may be wondering why I pushed the Emergency Stop button, but now that we’re stopped here and I’m carrying a gun, let me tell you about my new book. It’s a memoir, though untraditional in structure, of my journey out of self-hatred and judgement, the toxic mindsets of which were implanted in me at a young age by a strict religious Jewish Orthodox upbringing. There’s no use screaming, no one can hear you. The word “Feh” is a Yiddish word denoting disgust or disapproval, a word I heard in relation to myself for many years. But it’s more than a simple religious tale — this story of self-loathing is a story we’ve been telling ourselves as a species for thousands of years, and one I believe we need to rewrite if we are to find any real connection — to ourselves and others. FEH has been critically acclaimed, both here and abroad — please stop banging on the doors — and just your luck, I happen to have some copies here in my bag. Buying one copy gets you out of this elevator tonight, three gets you out immediately.”
The word “Feh” is a Yiddish word denoting disgust or disapproval, a word I heard in relation to myself for many years. But it’s more than a simple religious tale — this story of self-loathing is a story we’ve been telling ourselves as a species for thousands of years, and one I believe we need to rewrite if we are to find any real connection — to ourselves and others.
What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?
Dysfunctional childhood + repressive religious upbringing – loving environment + lack of security + addictive personality + overbearing mother + violent father – emotional support + small town judgmentalism x fantastic public library = Writer.
What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?
The hardest part of any book is determining, over the course of a thousand drafts, the self-truth of what you’re saying — fiction or non-fiction. Admitting something is the first rule of writing (for me), and the last thing our minds want to do.
How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?
I’m usually the biggest schmuck in the book, so I think that helps.
Dysfunctional childhood + repressive religious upbringing – loving environment + lack of security + addictive personality + overbearing mother + violent father – emotional support + small town judgmentalism x fantastic public library = Writer.
What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?
Be afraid and intimidated. It’s fearsome and intimidating. But it’s also worth it. Much of FEH is about writing, in fact — about my process, my heroes, ideas, how they relate to my life, the disappointments and the successes. It might help you.
What do you love about writing?
Something happens when I put words on a page that I can’t explain or describe — it just makes me happy, it’s a better me, it’s a me I’d like to be. Not this interview, obviously, but other stuff.
What frustrates you about writing?
The industry.
Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine or writing at specific times?
I write every day, pretty much all day, with breaks for my wife and children and dinner. Sorry — that sucks, and it’s not easy, but it’s true. People often tell me they don’t recognize me without my laptop. Oy.
The hardest part of any book is determining, over the course of a thousand drafts, the self-truth of what you’re saying — fiction or non-fiction. Admitting something is the first rule of writing (for me), and the last thing our minds want to do.
Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities do you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?
Does therapy count?
What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?
Always.
Loved reading Feh!
Feh: A Memoir is hands-down the best title for a book I've ever seen. You had me at Feh.