The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #115: Erika J. Simpson
"I realized the most important part in the creation of this book was staying true to my own inner story. So I stopped digging in parts that didn’t need digging..."
Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.
Here’s the 115th installment, featuring , author of This is Your Mother: A Memoir. -Sari Botton
P.S. Check out all the interviews in The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire series.
Erika J. Simpson is a Southern girl living in Denver, Colorado, with her partner and their black cat. She holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of Kentucky and is the recipient of the 2021 MFA Award in Nonfiction. Her essay “If You Ever Find Yourself” was published in ’s The Audacity and featured in Best American Essays 2022, edited by . This Is Your Mother is her debut memoir, and she also writes fiction for the page and screen.
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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?
I am a youthful 35 years old, and I’ve been writing since I was three, when I penned a play called “I Want to Be a Refrigerator When I Grow Up,” crayon on toilet paper. Deeper meaning: I’d always be full. I was a greedy kid, this was before things went south for my family, so I can’t even use that as an excuse.
What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?
My memoir, This Is Your Mother, came out 5/6/2025.
What number book is this for you?
It’s my debut book!
This Is Your Mother is a race against time for my mother and me, both of us trying to actualize before the cancer takes her away. A nine-year-old version of myself tries to become a child star to help with rent while my mother tries to survive another round of cancer while launching her business. Our unique battles with sickness and poverty are viewed through the lens of youth, pop culture, and my mother’s unyielding faith in God, both of us creating our own rules of survival.
How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?
Because my story simply can’t be told without my mother’s harrowing life experiences, it’s a dual-memoir of my life and my mother’s dying, an expansion of a creative nonfiction essay I wrote in grad school that went straight to Best American Essay 2022.
What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?
This Is Your Mother is a race against time for my mother and me, both of us trying to actualize before the cancer takes her away. A 9-year-old version of myself tries to become a child star to help with rent while my mother tries to survive another round of cancer while launching her business. Our unique battles with sickness and poverty are viewed through the lens of youth, pop culture, and my mother’s unyielding faith in God, both of us creating our own rules of survival.
What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?
Well, it’s detailed in my memoir that my sister is the writer of the family. My original dream was to be a superstar actress. When our mother died in December of 2013 I lost almost a year of time, coming back to consciousness in November 2014 when my sister suggested we compete in NaNoWriMo.
While she wrote a fun time travel story, I wrote an intense telling of my mother’s death. It was too sad, but I knew it could be something, and after ten years, including two in graduate school, I was able to find the missing piece. In my Autofiction class we were challenged to write an autobiographical essay, and what came out of me was a list of 16 rules for surviving poverty as learned from my mother. The essay won me the University of Kentucky graduate award in nonfiction and landed me an agent, and I knew it was time to connect the dots and tell the full story of my childhood and my mother’s life.
What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?
The hardest part was having to sit with my mother’s death almost every day for two years. I have never been to therapy, so it was rough traversing through my own avoided thoughts, releasing memories I’d buried deep down, and facing mama’s final day. PLUS, I had to pick up a job at Sam’s Club for a while to keep the rent and bills paid, which drove me mentally ill for whole different reasons.
Because my story simply can’t be told without my mother’s harrowing life experiences, it’s a dual-memoir of my life and my mother’s dying, an expansion of a creative nonfiction essay I wrote in grad school that went straight to Best American Essay 2022.
How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?
I didn’t change any names, and boy is it scary. I worried about getting basic details wrong. I had to make sure I got all 10 of Mama’s brothers’ and sisters’ names correct and in proper birth order. And then I worried about the way my memory of the events as a child would clash with my older family’s memories. I didn’t want to assert any blame, but convey what I experienced.
My sister chose not to read the book until she got an advanced copy. At first I would ask clarifying questions to my Aunt Mattie—my mom’s sister—but then our memories began to part ways, or she’d add a detail I was unaware of that would stir my emotions and I realized the most important part in the creation of this book was staying true to my own inner story. So I stopped digging in parts that didn’t need digging, ha.
Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)
was one of my teachers in grad school, and I learned so much about staying true to your own inner voice, perspective, and story from her work. She writes southern women, mountain women, whole towns that are so authentic, like her award-winning novel The Birds of Opulence and that authenticity is what makes you stand out, not narratives that try to fit into what’s been written before.’s Heavy and George Cain’s Blueschild Baby also taught me quite a bit about craft and establishing the way your particular world works and how you navigate it.What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?
The only thing that stops the fear, and longing, and jealousy is to simply write.
What do you love about writing?
When you write the most god-awful feeling piece of text and abandon the page entirely and then come back weeks or months later and read what you wrote and realize it’s good as hell.
What frustrates you about writing?
It’s a Lawerence Kasdan quote but I heard Hank Moody say it on Californication—Being a writer means having homework every night for the rest of your life. And I really feel that. The essay is always due.
What about writing surprises you?
That I can actually do it. That we really create worlds, or flesh out our own inner world, with symbols on paper.
The hardest part was having to sit with my mother’s death almost every day for two years. I have never been to therapy, so it was rough traversing through my own avoided thoughts, releasing memories I’d buried deep down, and facing mama’s final day. PLUS, I had to pick up a job at Sam’s Club for a while to keep the rent and bills paid, which drove me mentally ill for whole different reasons.
Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine, or writing at specific times?
The boring answer: I write first thing to start my day, with a hot cup of black tea to keep me company, followed by an iced chai tea, then a four-mile walk to THINK, before I pretend to write a little more and then give up for the day. My brain shuts down at 5pm like I’m in an office building, though I’m always mulling.
Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?
I write for TV as well, projects forthcoming if I get all my greenlights. I also love making a good TikTok, being a small-time creator—not for likes, I only get a handful of those, but for the video diary of it all. It feels good to create and be silly. Not take yourself too seriously. My daily 10k steps feels like the fresh air I need to move forward in creation as well.
What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?
LOADED QUESTION!! I’d love to do a novel next, and finally get to write something fun after spending so much time with a weighted topic, and I’m developing a TV show! A passion project of mine, based on my time living in San Francisco and working in Chinatown.
Thoughtful interview. Looking forward to this incredible story. I would also love to see the play, “I Want to Be a Refrigerator When I Grow Up,” crayon on toilet paper. 🫶
I needed this today and look forward to reading and following this author. I copied and pasted so many of her responses into a fresh new doc I'm calling "Inspiration." Like, the importance of "staying true to your own inner voice, perspective, and story." And,"The only thing that stops the fear, and longing, and jealousy is to simply write."
And, "When you write the most god-awful feeling piece of text and abandon the page entirely and then come back weeks or months later and read what you wrote and realize it’s good as hell."