The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #81: Casey Mulligan Walsh
"I learned that life rarely goes according to plan, but even in the most heartbreaking moments, there’s room for healing, peace, and unexpected joy."
Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.
Here’s the 81st installment, featuring , author of The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared. -Sari Botton
Casey Mulligan Walsh writes about life at the intersection of grief and joy, embracing uncertainty, and the nature of true belonging. Her memoir, The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared, was released from Motina Books on February 18, 2025. She has written for The New York Times, HuffPost, Next Avenue, Modern Loss, Hippocampus, Barren Magazine, and numerous other literary magazines, and her essay, “Still,” published in Split Lip, was nominated for Best of the Net. She is a founding editor of In a Flash literary magazine. She also serves as an ambassador for and on the Board of the Family Heart Foundation, which raises awareness of the genetic lipid disorders that have affected her family across generations. Casey lives in upstate New York with her husband Kevin and too many books to count. When not traveling, they enjoy visits from their four children and ten grandchildren—the very definition of “the full catastrophe.”
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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?
I’m 70, and I’ve been writing since I was 56. I was a voracious reader as a child and wrote stories and poetry through early adulthood, but I didn’t come to creative writing in a serious way until 2011, when I took a creative nonfiction essay workshop with Marion Roach Smith and was immediately hooked.
What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?
My debut memoir, The Full Catastrophe: All I Ever Wanted, Everything I Feared, was published by Motina Books on February 18, 2025.
What number book is this for you?
This is my first book.
How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?
My book is a traditional memoir. Many stories are told effectively through memoirs-in-essays, patchworks, collages, and other formats, but it was apparent to me that this story needed to be told in a connected narrative. Though the events span a long period of time, the story has unifying themes that run throughout. The narrative arc is rendered in a mainly chronological fashion with occasional flashbacks and reflective passages. My goal was to create a propulsive quality so that the book would read like a novel.
I was orphaned at 12 and lost my only sibling at 20, which set me off on a search for home that rose above every other goal I had in life. I created the family I dreamed of, but when my marriage began to fall apart, I embraced a new spirituality, which became a lifeline during a hostile divorce. Then the unthinkable happened—the sudden death of my 20-year-old son, Eric.
What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?
The Full Catastrophe is my story of the search for belonging in the wake of repeated loss, navigating uncertainty, and learning to live with grief beside joy. I was orphaned at 12 and lost my only sibling at 20, which set me off on a search for home that rose above every other goal I had in life. I created the family I dreamed of, but when my marriage began to fall apart, I embraced a new spirituality, which became a lifeline during a hostile divorce.
Then the unthinkable happened—the sudden death of my 20-year-old son, Eric. The loss was devastating, but the spiritual strength I’d cultivated helped me navigate my grief and find a deeper sense of belonging. Through it all, I learned that life rarely goes according to plan, but even in the most heartbreaking moments, there’s room for healing, peace, and unexpected joy. It’s about embracing the full catastrophe of life in all its messy, beautiful complexity.
What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?
When I began writing essays in 2011, it wasn’t long before I was reminded of the love of writing I’d forgotten in the years after my teens, when life took a turn and my focus lay elsewhere. I saw that writing about the events that had shaped me helped me process not only what had happened but unpack the ways they had affected me and shaped my view of the world. Getting these stories on paper reminded me how filled with loss and other challenges my life has been. It became clear as I shared these essays and began to have them accepted for publication that my story could help others process their own griefs and challenges.
I wrote essays regularly from 2011 through 2017, when I roughed out the outline of a book, plugged the heart of each essay into the appropriate spot, then began the tedious task of filling out the story. Once I had a final draft in 2019, the real work of revising and refining began.
What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?
I’ve often been asked about how I handled writing about the multiple losses and trauma I experienced since childhood, whether I relived them as I wrote and felt retraumatized. Though writing can be therapeutic, I didn’t write as therapy, mostly because a dozen years had passed since any of the book’s major events took place. That, combined with the dozen years it took me to arrive at a final draft, allowed me distance from the emotions that had once been overwhelming. The most difficult part to write for me on an emotional level was the custody trial chapter. After I wrote the first version, I laughingly said that I no longer forgave anyone. But that feeling didn’t last long.
I did find some of the craft-related aspects of writing memoir challenging at the start. The first draft of my now-80,000 word book was a whopping 119,000 words. I was confident in my writing abilities but knew I had a lot to learn about effective storytelling. Learning to write more in scene than exposition, use one scene to represent multiple repetitive events, connect scenes through causality, contradiction, or consequence, and balance dark and light were specific areas of growth for me. I’m so lucky to have had some wonderful critique partners and editors who helped me gain skills in these areas so that I could end with an impactful story that illustrates a life that often felt relentless to live without it being relentless to read.
The journey to publication is rarely easy, and it can be even more challenging for memoirists. I started pitching agents in 2020 and 2021, but after a couple of rounds with revisions between, I decided that small or university presses were a better fit. I was thrilled when Motina Books expressed interest, and I signed with them in July 2023. I couldn’t be happier to have partnered with a press so supportive of its authors, one that’s been behind this book every step of the way.
How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?
I didn’t change identifying details but did change some names, though only those of people who have died. This may seem counterintuitive, but I wanted to be sensitive to their loved ones. There’s something about reading your parent’s or sibling’s real name over and over that hits differently from reading about those characters with a pseudonym.
I thought a lot about whether to change my children’s names. At one point, I tried changing all of their names, but that somehow made it more difficult to access memories and to characterize them as the children I knew and loved. In the end, I decided to change their last name but use their actual first names. Both my surviving son and daughter were fine with this approach, so I went with it.
My son read the entire manuscript and had no notes. He said that for every scene, he could have written his own version, which is totally valid. But he also understands that memoir is how these events happened through the eyes of the author, and he’s proud of me for publishing our story. My daughter also read parts of the book and was fine with all of it. I didn’t share the book with any of the other people in it except, of course, my husband, who has been a huge support from start to finish.
I’ve often been asked about how I handled writing about the multiple losses and trauma I experienced since childhood, whether I relived them as I wrote and felt retraumatized. Though writing can be therapeutic, I didn’t write as therapy, mostly because a dozen years had passed since any of the book’s major events took place. That, combined with the dozen years it took me to arrive at a final draft, allowed me distance from the emotions that had once been overwhelming.
Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)
The first thing that comes to mind are the struggles I had in illustrating the spiritual shift that happened for me during the darkest years of the divorce, when everything in my life seemed to be imploding. Reading Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle helped me see how writing about these shifts within the struggle, in real time, is much more effective than telling the reader about this new way of seeing the world all in one gulp. The latter can come off as proselytizing, something I spent many revisions working to avoid.
Cheryl Strayed’s Wild informed my choice to use a similar structure, where the book begins in a riveting or otherwise pivotal scene, hooks the reader, and sets up the essential question or quest that will drive the rest of the story. Her reluctance to whitewash events and willingness to take responsibility for the ways in which she contributed to the challenges she faced were inspirational and helped me focus on doing the same. No one wants to read revenge memoir or misery memoir. I’m thankful to her and so many other writers for lighting the way.
What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?
I’d offer a combination of encouragement and honest caveats. Writing to publish is a very different endeavor from writing for one’s own personal satisfaction or to leave a record for family. I’d suggest they get their story down first, then ask themselves a series of questions. What is the story really about? What is the universal, and what does it have to offer the reader? Where is the transformation? Do I feel comfortable sharing these details? Are there family members or others involved in the story who may have a reaction, and how will I handle that?
I’d also suggest taking advantage of the wisdom of other writers and the many learning opportunities available to us today, so many workshops at reasonable cost that don’t require in-person attendance.
Finding a publisher takes perseverance and requires a thick skin. Making connections in the writing community and tapping into that collective wisdom will help a new writer zero in on the agents and/or presses that might be the best fit. But it’s also important to understand that sometimes even the best writing doesn’t find a home.
If aspiring writers go into the process with their eyes open and decide to move forward, then they’ll find a chorus of encouraging voices in a variety of writing communities.
What do you love about writing?
There’s something magical about getting words on the page in just the right order, with just the right cadence and tone, that satisfies something in me nothing else does. Like many writers, I take pleasure in reading and rereading a piece I’m working on until it says exactly what I want it to. (And then of course, we have to be willing to release those darlings and listen with an open mind to suggestions about what needs to change or go—not always easy!). I’ve sometimes said that I feel listened to when people read my work in a way I often haven’t in life. It’s given me a voice I’ve longed for since childhood, and that’s a beautiful thing.
I also love the community it’s brought my way. I cannot fathom where I’d be without my treasured writing partners who are now some of my closest friends. More broadly, the connections I’ve made with so many other writers are an important part of what makes me who I am, and for me, connection is everything.
What frustrates you about writing?
The things that frustrate me center more around writing-adjacent issues, such as pitching and placing essays, seeking book publication, being ghosted, and all sorts of procedural challenges that can turn a passion into something to be avoided if we’re not careful. Focusing on writing for the sake of writing is an admirable goal, and I try to remember that this is a passion, not an assignment.
What I find more of a challenge than a frustration is learning to shape essays into work that leans more literary vs. commercial. My natural tendency is to veer a little more literary when I’m not thinking specifically about style, and I’ve had to learn how to write in a more straightforward, conversational manner for media outlets. And back to what I love about writing—there’s always that next challenge, the next thing to learn. Tired of long-form essays? Try compressed flash! Just published a hermit crab? How about a short piece for HuffPost or Today? The possibilities are endless.
What about writing surprises you?
Everything, every time I start a new piece. How exhilarating it is to write into your idea, think you know where you’re going, then suddenly, a revelation. Oh, that’s what this is about! Whether it’s a straightforward essay or an experimental literary piece, that’s where the alchemy happens.
Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine or writing at specific times?
No. I’m definitely a write-in-spurts sort of writer, and 5 a.m. writers’ club is definitely not my thing. There are times I write all day, every day to the point I become obsessed with the work, and others—like now, just coming off all the effort it takes to launch a book—when I wonder if I’ll ever write again. Something tells me I will, if only because I have numerous essays in the hopper waiting for me to revise and submit.
I thought a lot about whether to change my children’s names. At one point, I tried changing all of their names, but that somehow made it more difficult to access memories and to characterize them as the children I knew and loved. In the end, I decided to change their last name but use their actual first names. Both my surviving son and daughter were fine with this approach, so I went with it.
Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities do you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?
Right now it feels as if all I do is write, or more specifically, promote my book. I’d like to spend some time distilling the themes in the book and begin speaking about topics including living with grief beside joy and navigating the inevitable uncertainty of life. I’m also a founding member of a new Substack literary magazine,
, that accepts CNF of 500 words or less, which taps creativity in a different way from producing work myself.I enjoy reading, of course, needlework, cooking and baking, and the ever-necessary pursuit of exercise. Also, I have a brand new set of watercolors, brushes, and workbook I’m itching to get my hands on once life quiets down. When I do something contemplative that doesn’t involve writing, I nearly always return to the page with new inspiration.
The worst thing I can imagine is being retired without purpose. There’s so much to learn. The possibilities are endless.
What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?
I have a number of essays that touch on living decades after one or more major losses and embracing joy while honoring the grief that will never go away, and I’m considering crafting an essay collection on that topic. But I also love writing in unconventional forms (think hermit crab and braided essays, for example) and in microflash, so it remains to be seen what shape that book may take. Stay tuned.
Casey, may I say that I am compelled by both the title and cover of your book--both tell your story and evoke its emotional core. When I think of life as "full catastrophe" I embrace the worst that can happen and the best that can happen, both, not either or, as you have.
Such a great interview! Loved the book!