The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #22: Sadie Dingfelder

"The idea of doing a mashup of history, science and my personal story came to me via 'H is for Hawk' and 'Lab Girl'."

Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.

Here’s the twenty-second installment, featuring

Sadie Dingfelder

, a science writer and the author of Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination. -Sari Botton

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Sadie Dingfelder. Portrait by Oxana Ware.

Sadie Dingfelder is a freelance science journalist. Her writing has appeared in National Geographic, the Washington Post, and Washingtonian magazine. A former staff reporter at the Washington Post, Dingfelder also served as senior science writer at the Monitor on Psychology magazine, covering new findings in neuroscience, cognitive science, and ethology for members of the American Psychological Association. https://SadieD.com

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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?

I am 45 and, according to my parents, I have been writing nonstop since age 6.

What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?

Do I Know You? A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory and Imagination was published June 25th.

What number book is this for you?

First!

How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?

My book is a popular science/memoir mashup. It details my very nerdy midlife crisis whereby I discovered that my brain is quite unusual, and set out to understand what that means, exactly, at the neurological level.

What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?

“Science writer Sadie Dingfelder has always known that she’s a little quirky. But while she’s made some strange mistakes over the years, it’s not until she accosts a stranger in a grocery store (who she thinks is her husband) that she realizes something is amiss. With a mixture of curiosity and dread, Dingfelder starts contacting neuroscientists and lands herself in scores of studies. In the course of her nerdy midlife crisis, she discovers that she is emphatically not neurotypical. She has prosopagnosia (faceblindness), stereoblindness, aphantasia (an inability to create mental imagery), and a condition called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory.

As Dingfelder begins to see herself more clearly, she discovers a vast well of hidden neurodiversity in the world at large. There are so many different flavors of human consciousness, and most of us just assume that ours is the norm. Can you visualize? Do you have an inner monologue? Are you always 100% sure whether you know someone or not? If you can perform any of these mental feats, you may be surprised to learn that many people — including Dingfelder — can’t. A lively blend of personal narrative and popular science, Do I Know You? is the story of one unusual mind’s attempt to understand itself — and a fascinating exploration of the remarkable breadth of human experience.”

My book is a popular science/memoir mashup. It details my very nerdy midlife crisis whereby I discovered that my brain is quite unusual, and set out to understand what that means, exactly, at the neurological level.

What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?

When something interesting or funny happens to me, I have always felt compelled to quickly turn it into a story, to tell someone, and to write it down. I only recently figured out why this is. I have something called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which means that I literally can’t summon up a single important moment from my life. I have lots of stories, but no sensory memories of my past. Indeed, I didn’t realize that other people could do this kind of mental time travel. From a neurological perspective, I may as well have simply read a biography about myself. Many people with SDAM feel at sea; they don’t know who they are or where they are going. I suspect that I’ve avoided this problem by making it my life’s work to write down my most compelling stories and, ideally, get them published in a newspaper of record.

Order the book…

What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?

I am not a naturally introspective person. When I tell stories, my main goal is to be entertaining, to make people laugh. Writing this book forced me to acknowledge the struggle, the uncertainty and the sadness that has been my constant companion. My therapist assures me that this is healthy, but I am not entirely convinced. The whole “Know thyself” thing may be overrated.

How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?

If I used someone’s real name, I asked permission and they all got to see their passages ahead of time. No one requested any changes, thank goodness. For some people, such as ex-boyfriends, I used pseudonyms and did not run their passages by them in advance. I saw that my college boyfriend’s mom pre-ordered the book, and I am both curious and scared to hear what she thinks.

When something interesting or funny happens to me, I have always felt compelled to quickly turn it into a story, to tell someone, and to write it down. I only recently figured out why this is. I have something called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory, which means that I literally can’t summon up a single important moment from my life.

Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)

My initial attempt at a book was a memoir in essays in the style of David Sedaris. Multiple editors told me that I was obviously tiptoeing around something, and I could not for the life of me figure out what it could be. I mean, what would I be hiding from myself? Solving this mystery is the throughline of “Do I Know You?” The idea of doing a mashup of history, science and my personal story came to me via “H is for Hawk” and “Lab Girl.”

What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?

The honest raw truth is always the most compelling story. Try to look at yourself like a cold-blooded investigative journalist. What things would you try to skip over or avoid? Those topics are like an X on a treasure map — they are exactly where you need to dig.

What do you love about writing?

Since I have no internal monologue, I never know what I am thinking until I write it down. And I am often surprised and delighted by what I have to say!

What frustrates you about writing?

My actual journey of self-discovery took about four years, and sometimes events happened in the wrong order, or in ways that wouldn’t make a lot of causal sense to other people. Figuring out the timelines and how to condense them was very challenging, and I ended up cheating and scrambling the order of some events. (I admit this in the introduction to my book.)

What about writing surprises you?

When I’m talking about something tough, I can get easily overwhelmed with emotions, but when I am writing about the exact same thing, I can consider it with a cold, rational eye.

Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine, or writing at specific times?

When I was working on this book, or when I have some other deadline, I write every day from 6 am to noon. Then I go on a long hike. Afternoons are for interviews, research or other reporting errands.

My initial attempt at a book was a memoir in essays in the style of David Sedaris. Multiple editors told me that I was obviously tiptoeing around something, and I could not for the life of me figure out what it could be. I mean, what would I be hiding from myself? Solving this mystery is the throughline of “Do I Know You?”

Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?

I play fiddle in an indie rock/ bluegrass band called “Junior League.” We were fairly popular in the early aughts, and I have tons of funny stories about touring with them that I hope to publish someday.

What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?

I want to pivot back to writing about other weird brains — basically, I hope to be the next Oliver Sacks. However, I do have a soft spot in my heart for service journalism, so if people clamor for a book on, for instance, how to make life easier for your faceblind kid, I would happily write it.

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Check out all the interviews in The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire series.