The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #67: KB Brookins
"The emotional aspect, the getting out of the way of my own life, was the hardest part."
Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.
Here’s the 67th installment, featuring , author of Pretty: A Memoir. -Sari Botton
is a Black queer and trans writer, educator, and cultural worker from Texas. KB’s chapbook How To Identify Yourself with a Wound won the Saguaro Poetry Prize, a Writer’s League of Texas Discovery Prize, and a Stonewall Honor Book Award. Their debut poetry collection Freedom House won the American Library Association Barbara Gittings Literature Award and the Texas Institute of Letters Award for the Best First Book of Poetry. Their most recent book is Pretty: A Memoir, which won the Great Lakes Colleges Association New Writers Award in Creative Nonfiction. Follow them online at @earthtokb.
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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?
29! I’ve been writing on and off since I was 15, but most consistently since 2019.
What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?
My latest book is my debut memoir, Pretty. It was published by Alfred A. Knopf on May 28, 2024.
What number book is this for you?
Three! My first two books were a poetry chapbook named How to Identify Yourself with a Wound and a poetry collection named Freedom House.
How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?
I’d say it’s a multi-genre memoir that oscillates between poetry and prose. Some have called my prose chapters essays that are linked, and since I have an affinity to the personal essay, I’m not mad at that.
Pretty came to be in the earlier stages of my transition. I was looking for literature on the specific experience of being Black and transmasculine and kept coming up short. Overwhelmingly, creative writing about being transmasculine skews white, and my transition has not been an experience wherein I’ve gone from being seen as dainty and innocent to being seen as a welder of privilege (like my white counterparts).
What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?
If you like trans coming-of-age stories, or adoptee narratives, or stories about growing up Black and trans in Texas, or queer smut, or you want to laugh and cry in the same sitting, or you’re seeking ruminations on creating a healthy masculinity from a Black trans perspective, then Pretty has something for you. It’s intentionally wide-spanning (as life is) and its three central themes—transness, masculinity, and race—tether all the pieces together.
What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?
I became a writer because I had a teacher, Ms. Elaine Duran, really instill a love for words in me when I was a high schooler via her Afterschool Poetry Society. I also happened to have friends that loved her and wanted to be around her all the time.
This book came to be in the earlier stages of my transition. I was looking for literature on the specific experience of being Black and transmasculine and kept coming up short. Overwhelmingly, creative writing about being transmasculine skews white, and my transition has not been an experience wherein I’ve gone from being seen as dainty and innocent to being seen as a welder of privilege (like my white counterparts). Gender and the way it manifests is racialized—even among cisgender folks. So I started writing just individual pieces about unique experiences I have as a Black transmasc person that’s born, raised, and based in Texas—from dating to interfacing with doctors to trying to get my books out. It’s all been informed by who I am.
Essentially, I wrote a book that I couldn’t find, and I published it so that other folks like me can find a book and be like “that’s so me” in the way that my white counterparts can. Also, I want folks that are not like me to read it so they learn more about how the world works.
What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?
Sometimes we are our biggest opps. What I mean by that is I spent too many years “thinking” about writing nonfiction before I started doing it, and I spent a lot of time “drafting” (read: procrastinating) pieces due to impostor syndrome when I could’ve just been shooting in the gym—writing sentences that sometimes succeeded and sometimes didn’t. The emotional aspect, the getting out of the way of my own life, was the hardest part.
The second hardest was interfacing with the literary industry. A large swath of writers like to think of ourselves as anti-capitalist and whatnot, but I’ve learned that there are a lot of books that we don’t read because an editor or agent didn’t see somebody’s unique perspective as marketable. Readable to a “Middle America” (read: cis, white, straight, abled, all the other privileges) gaze. Many of the the “no”s writers like me receive have nothing to do with the books. That was hard to learn, and harder to see manifest via trying to get this book published.
Pretty is unequivocally, unmistakably Black, trans, Texan, and not “101” about it. It reads the way I think, which is non-linearly; it asks the reader to witness moments when I’m not the hero or villain. My life, and the lives of many marginalized folks, fit outside of the categorizations that a panel of judges or an industry that wants reading that reaffirms a “safe” point of view.
So yeah, it was hard to be passed on both before and after the book came out, and hard to feel like I can’t get in certain doors just based on who I am. But luckily, I have Annie (my agent), Erroll (my editor), Kelly (my publicist), and folks that book me, interact with my stuff online, and acknowledge my existence. That really keeps folks like me—those on the margins in multiple ways—going more than you know.
How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?
The great thing about Creative Nonfiction is that word Creative. CNF writers get to tell the truth, and be creative with how we protect ourselves. In Pretty’s intro, I state that some names and other minor identifying details have been changed. I also chose to, as I was writing the book, reach out to some folks to make sure that my recollection of events wasn’t subconsciously trying to shield me from any accountability.
That’s the thing about humans: we’re kinda always in self-preservation mode. It’s hard to admit to our failings, and I know that I needed to do that – to point out the ways that various systems failed me and how I failed myself, and also get into their (and my) perspective. Namely with the titular piece (“Pretty”), I reached out to the person that it centers; it’s important to me, also, that I’m the right person to tell the story, yunno? Even when you were there, it’s not always your point of view that matters. That person luckily ensured me that I was telling the truth. Without that, there would be no book.
Last: my dad (the one I grew up with and the one I don’t know) is a central character in the book, and before the only dad I knew passed, I came out to him because of this book. In a few ways, Pretty helped me do some things I’d been meaning to do.
Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)
I’m a Kiese Laymon head through and through. We’re both Black masculine Southern writers wading through the complexity of being all those things, and I think he writes accountability and repetition and place like no one else. I was so psyched that he blurbed Pretty.
Essentially, I wrote a book that I couldn’t find, and I published it so that other folks like me can find a book and be like “that’s so me” in the way that my white counterparts can. Also, I want folks that are not like me to read it so they learn more about how the world works.
What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?
Nobody’s gonna go as hard for you as you go hard for you, so take your writing, reading, revision, community-building, and health seriously. All these things feed each other. Don’t let nobody tell you you’re too young or green or whatever to do something; go up to that bookstore and ask them if they need readers or moderators. Go up to that poet at the open mic that you thought did a dope set.
Submit to that literary magazine. Read the writers you like and don’t like and ask yourself why they made the craft decisions they did. See how you can make similar-but-totally-you decisions (you know what that means). Ultimately, you don’t need a degree to be a writer (I got all my book deals before I started an MFA), but you do need to be disciplined.
What do you love about writing?
Surprising myself. When I land someplace that I didn’t plan to, and I feel excited about the prospect of writing, then I know I’m cooking with grease.
What frustrates you about writing?
The struggle of not knowing where to go next while I’m writing. But it’s part of writing; you can’t really be prolific on a whim. You can’t finish a book and every single part of it be perfect on a rough draft. So, when I want to, I push through that. A first draft is better than no draft.
What about writing surprises you?
The random things that get conjured that remind you that you’ve experienced something. Many times I’ve been writing then said “damn, I didn’t know I felt like that.” That’s a powerful, wonderful thing.
Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine or writing at specific times?
My routine changes as I do. Because I have severe ADHD, I need accountability. External deadlines and friend coworking sessions keep me writing generally. Right now, I write about once a week. In the past, it’s been daily or as irregular as in between meetings.
Pretty is unequivocally, unmistakably Black, trans, Texan, and not “101” about it. It reads the way I think, which is non-linearly; it asks the reader to witness moments when I’m not the hero or villain. My life, and the lives of many marginalized folks, fit outside of the categorizations that a panel of judges or an industry that wants reading that reaffirms a “safe” point of view.
Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities do you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?
I had two art installations based on my book Freedom House debut last year! For those installations, I made digital collages and transformed the gallery spaces they were in into my childhood home. I wanna continue to think of words as not something that solely lives on the page. In general, I like to go to a museum; it feels like the thing, besides reading, that jolts my writing practice.
I also love a yap sesh with my friends. They’re brilliant, and routinely say things that I think more deeply about days and years after we meet. A lot of their little quips end up in my books. As I meet more people and nurture my connections, I’m sure that’ll continue to be the case.
What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?
Well, I’m on the job market right now so I’m doing a different kind of writing (cover letters! teaching statements! emails!) probably equally or more than the creative kind (sad face). I have been working on a book for a while, and I hope to be able to talk more about it soon.
I’m also, as of 2023, writing TV pilots! As an avid consumer of TV, it scratches something in my brain that I LOVE. Recently, I made it to the second round of Austin Film Festival’s yearly screenwriting contest in the TV drama category and made it to the Coverfly Red List, which is good! Gaining representation in the Film/TV world and writing stuff that makes it to the screen at some point is a goal of mine.
Going to order this now! Thank you, KB, for your persistence in telling your story.