The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire #65: Alicia M. Rodriguez
"Some chapters wrote themselves; I felt like I was taking dictation. And life itself provided the ending, which surprised me and my readers."
Since 2010, in various publications, I’ve interviewed authors—mostly memoirists—about aspects of writing and publishing. Initially I did this for my own edification, as someone who was struggling to find the courage and support to write and publish my memoir. I’m still curious about other authors’ experiences, and I know many of you are, too. So, inspired by the popularity of The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire, I’ve launched The Memoir Land Author Questionnaire.
Here’s the 65th installment, featuring Alicia M. Rodriguez, author most recently of The Shaman's Wife: A Mystical Journey of Surrender and Self-Discovery. -Sari Botton
Alicia M. Rodriguez is a Latina writer, storyteller, and published author who has lived in six countries and traveled extensively. Her Colombian roots and love of Latin American literature inspire her to explore culture, spirituality, storytelling, and magic themes in her writing. She has published two inspirational books, Everyday Epiphanies and Manage Your Life Before Life Manages You. Her writing has also been featured in numerous online publications, including Thrive Global, Wilde Magazine, Tiny Buddha, Substack, and Medium. She believes that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, a perspective that led her from corporate boardrooms to the rainforests, mountains, and coast of Ecuador, where she spent eight years with an Ecuadorian shaman. Her award-winning memoir, The Shaman's Wife: A Mystical Journey of Surrender and Self-Discovery, recounts her eight-year relationship with the Ecuadorian shaman. Alicia currently resides in Ferragudo in the stunning Algarve region of Portugal, where her morning cliff walks with her dog, Sophie, inspire her creativity and bring her joy and peace. She writes the newsletter .
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How old are you, and for how long have you been writing?
I've been writing since I was 10 when I wrote a poem called Broomhilda for Halloween. My third-grade teacher told me I couldn’t write. I went home crying. Over milk and cookies my mother asked me a simple question. “Do you believe her?” I answered, “No.” without thinking. “Well then, what’s the problem?” she asked. I kept writing.
Being a shy child and Latina in a white world, I kept to myself and found refuge in books and art. I have always kept a journal and frequently extract ideas or half-written poetry from my entries. I'm curious about everything, so there is always plenty to write about!
What’s the title of your latest book, and when was it published?
My latest book is a memoir entitled The Shaman's Wife: A Mystical Journey of Surrender and Self-Discovery. It was published on September 10, 2024, with She Writes Press.
What number book is this for you?
Three—the first two books were personal development books. EveryDay Epiphanies: Insights for Living with Purpose (I'm working on a revision now) and Manage Your Life Before Life Manages You: More Joy and Less Stress in 365 Days, which contains 365 daily thoughts, inspirations and practices for getting control over your life and creating more flow.
How do you categorize your book—as a memoir, memoir-in-essays, essay collection, creative nonfiction, graphic memoir, autofiction—and why?
My latest book is a memoir. It’s the story of the eight years I was a partner to an indigenous Ecuadorian shaman. The book moves between the United States and Ecuador over this time frame. I reflect on my upbringing and the quest for a spiritual life as the road that led me to this encounter with a shaman. Because of the metaphysical elements in the story, I have been told that this might also be considered creative non-fiction or magical realism.
After years of devastating losses, I was introduced to an indigenous Ecuadorian shaman, the man who would change my life and be at the heart of The Shaman's Wife. This shift opened the portal to a metaphysical life I had only imagined, but that quickly became my reality, constantly dancing between the metaphysical and material worlds. Gradually, I surrendered my agency to him, and he weaponized my love.
What is the “elevator pitch” for your book?
“An award-winning memoir that illuminates the delicate dance between personal power and love, The Shaman's Wife shares Alicia M. Rodriguez's journey of sacrificing her agency for love yet ultimately discovering the transformative potential within that same love. By the book's end, a resounding message prevails. Love is boundless, but it begins with nurturing oneself.”
What’s the back story of this book including your origin story as a writer? How did you become a writer, and how did this book come to be?
From a young age, I felt a spiritual longing amplified by my family's strong faith. My parents' stories of our culture, filled with dancing, joy, tragedy, and hardship, guided me even as I stood on the periphery, a quiet observer in a world that often felt foreign. In our family, dreams were prophetic and valued. Sensing was as natural as thinking. Intuition mattered more than knowledge. And imagination was the doorway to freedom. However, we lived in the United States, where results and being practical mattered more than simple joys and mystical realms.
As a child, books were how I explored the world without leaving home. I found solace in poetry, whose rhythm and rhyme soothed my apprehension of feeling like an outsider. My imagination was limitless, and my curiosity about the natural world was insatiable. As I began to record my dreams and observations, I began to connect with a deeper understanding of the human condition and my place in this world.
During and after college, travel became my escape, and I began documenting new feelings from experiencing other cultures and ways of life that aligned more with my nature. Yet, despite my innate creativity and curiosity, I followed the path laid out by convention, navigating the corridors of the business world while my heart yearned for deeper truths waiting to be unearthed. It wasn't long before I began actively seeking mentors and guides and exploring the inner spaces of my mind and heart.
After years of devastating losses, an intolerance for conventional living and societal expectations began to grow within me. While grieving these losses, I was introduced to an indigenous Ecuadorian shaman, the man who would change my life and be at the heart of my memoir, The Shaman's Wife. This shift opened the portal to a metaphysical life I had only imagined, but that quickly became my reality, constantly dancing between the metaphysical and material worlds.
Gradually, I surrendered my agency to him, and he weaponized my love. After facing several dark nights of the soul, I began to recognize the courage that I had not known existed within me. A stubborn spark within would not be extinguished, and after eight years, I found the resilience and courage to escape my life with him. I discovered the power of self-love, a journey marked by quiet rebellion against those who sought to silence my voice. I made intentional but difficult decisions to change my life, forging a path toward healing and wholeness in Portugal.
Nature has always been my sanctuary, a teacher whose wisdom speaks to my soul. In nature, I find solace, inspiration, and the fundamental principles that drive my life and writing: first, the interconnectedness of all things through a sacred life force energy, and second, that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I choose to live by the ocean, where I most feel the pull of consciousness reflected in the depths of her waters, the ebb and flow of her tides, and her calm and stormy moods.
My life has been a constant dance of duality, a delicate balance of light and shadow, power and surrender. In life's paradox lies the possibility for harmony, healing, and the essence of being human. As a storyteller, I weave tales of resilience and redemption, inviting others to embrace their own journey of self-discovery and healing. Through the power of self-forgiveness and self-love, we unlock the doors to our limitless potential. With intuition and empathy, I guide others toward lives of meaning and purpose, honoring the divine spark that resides within us all. This is my work, the source of my writing, and my purpose.
What were the hardest aspects of writing this book and getting it published?
This is my first experience with writing a memoir. Before and during the writing, I took a few courses on memoir writing and worked with a writing mentor. Yet, I had no idea how emotionally draining this book would be. To capture the visceral emotions and metaphysical experiences, I had to surrender to my memories. It left me feeling vulnerable and exposed. The grief I thought I had overcome surfaced again. Fortunately, I had support, and my lifestyle is calm and grounded in nature, lending itself to a healing process.
I also had no idea how the book would end. I thought it would end with my move to Portugal, but it took on a life of its own. Some chapters wrote themselves; I felt like I was taking dictation. And life itself provided the ending, which surprised me and my readers.
I wasn't sure how I would publish the book. I know myself well enough to know I would not tolerate the query process or the time it would take to find an agent to sell the book. It was important to me that the book be in the world quickly. I knew I was a neophyte at publishing, so hybrid publishing seemed the best route. I had taken memoir courses with
, the CEO of She Writes Press, and had confidence in her as an advocate for women writers.The second most challenging aspect of publishing this book came later. Marketing and Publicity. I have run several businesses and am adept at marketing, but I wasn't prepared for the intensity of the public relations process. I wisely hired Smith Publicity as my public relations agency and am thankful for their support and work on the book's behalf. Although I am still marketing the book consistently, it is at a more manageable pace.
How did you handle writing about real people in your life? Did you use real or changed names and identifying details? Did you run passages or the whole book by people who appear in the narrative? Did you make changes they requested?
I intentionally checked in with myself as I wrote to see if there was any anger, resentment, or vengeance in what I wrote. I wanted to write from a healed place, even if it meant that the healing occurred during the writing.
I knew some of the real people in the story did not want me to publish this book. I changed their names and other identifying elements but kept the interactions intact. I am not on speaking terms with them so I'm not even sure they know the book is published. Ultimately, this is my story, and the focus is on my journey. There were others in the book that were central to the narrative that permitted me to use their names and were delighted to be included.
Who is another writer you took inspiration from in producing this book? Was it a specific book, or their whole body of work? (Can be more than one writer or book.)
Because of the nature of the book—the metaphysical and shamanic aspects of the story—I often wondered if readers would believe me or perhaps think I was strange. Then I came across the book The Man Who Could Move Clouds by a Colombian author (my family is Colombian) named Ingrid Rojas Contreras. My parents would tell us stories of why they left Colombia because of the violence and political climate that she writes about. Her story weaves elements of the metaphysical that resonate with the way I was brought up in my Colombian home. Reading the book written by such a well-known and respected author gave me the confidence to stand in my story unapologetically.
Another writer I have always admired is Isabel Allende. Her ability to weave stories using aspects of magic realism and keen storytelling has inspired me to work on my craft.
Finally, a book I read years ago made an impression on me as I navigated my life at home as a Colombian and in the world as an American. Chapters in The Shaman's Wife, where I share episodes of my upbringing, resonate with similar events that Julia Alvarez writes in her novels How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents and In Time of the Butterflies.
These Latina authors continue to inspire me to share authentically and write from the Latina experience.
The Shaman’s Wife is the story of the eight years I was a partner to an indigenous Ecuadorian shaman. The book moves between the United States and Ecuador over this time frame. I reflect on my upbringing and the quest for a spiritual life as the road that led me to this encounter with a shaman. Because of the metaphysical elements in the story, I have been told that this might also be considered creative non-fiction or magical realism.
What advice would you give to aspiring writers looking to publish a book like yours, who are maybe afraid, or intimidated by the process?
Two words first. Just write. Write for yourself first. I don't think I'll ever feel entirely at ease or confident in my writing, but I've learned to disconnect from what others may think, or I'd never write. Be honest with yourself. Work on your writing skills. Follow and support other authors you admire. Write everywhere as an ongoing practice.
If you're writing a memoir, you will have to "feel all the feels," no matter how painful, for the right words to emerge and the honest emotions to transcend the page. Get emotional support and take breaks if you're writing a memoir. Hire great editors and a publisher who believes in you. Your story matters because, despite being unique to you, we all share a meta-story where others will find elements of their story in yours. We are storytelling machines. It's part of the human DNA. How you express that is your choice.
What do you love about writing?
That's like asking what you like about breathing. The word that comes to mind is "freedom." I feel free when I write. It helps me process my experience so that I can be free to do more of what brings me joy.
Because I'm insatiably curious about the human condition, writing is the vehicle I use to process my situation and, through observation, inquire into the stories lived by others. Much of my work is serving others and supporting them to design their lives around what matters most to them. That work feeds my writing and vice versa.
What frustrates you about writing?
What frustrates me about writing is that I don't make more time for writing. I often have ideas in strange places and have to use my voice memo app to capture the thought quickly. Maybe it will become a line in a future poem. I also run a business hosting one/one retreats in the Algarve where I live, and I am an executive coach. There are days I wish I could write full-time, but I'm not there yet.
What about writing surprises you?
What surprises me most is learning how stories connect us as human beings. When I began to write the memoir, I thought, "Who's going to care about my story?" I started to serialize the chapters with my subscribers. I discovered that my narrative resonated with many women who confessed to having similar stories that they had never shared until I shared mine. I was surprised that my revelations and vulnerability allowed other women to be vulnerable and share their experiences to heal and move forward. What a gift!
Does your writing practice involve any kind of routine or writing at specific times?
Much of my writing begins during my walks on the cliffs near my home in the Algarve of Portugal. My mind is open and unfocused when surveying the ocean and taking in the natural surroundings. Often, I hear an inner voice begin to speak a line, express a thought, or perhaps provide an insight into a problem I struggle with. I immediately use my voice memo app and record what may later become an essay or a shift in chapters if I'm writing a book.
When I'm writing a book, I’m a binge-writer. I work as exclusively as I can on the book for some part of each day. If I am having difficulty, I will go on a retreat by myself for a few days to return to the flow. This is how I wrote the most difficult chapters of my memoir.
I wasn't sure how I would publish the book. I know myself well enough to know I would not tolerate the query process or the time it would take to find an agent to sell the book. It was important to me that the book be in the world quickly. I knew I was a neophyte at publishing, so hybrid publishing seemed the best route.
Do you engage in any other creative pursuits, professionally or for fun? Are there non-writing activities do you consider to be “writing” or supportive of your process?
I believe that writing is an embodied experience of life. Unless I am moving, literally, through my life and engaging with others, there is no flow in my writing. I walk daily on the cliffs with my dog, Sophie, to reconnect to nature, my wild side, and my heart. This morning walk grounds my day. I also enjoy hiking and kayaking. Much of my life in southern Portugal is spent outside due to the temperate climate and so much sunshine. Portugal also offers some of the best food and wine and, when paired with friends, brings me joy and peace.
Professionally, I run retreats in the Algarve for individuals seeking a restorative process or direction on their journey or support through a life transition. I also enjoy speaking to audiences.
What’s next for you? Do you have another book planned, or in the works?
I believe that publishing is rapidly changing, and authors are empowered to publish their books without going through gatekeepers. I hope to learn more about self-publishing and how to grow my writing as a business.
In 2025, I will produce an audiobook for The Shaman's Wife. I have three books started, and I’ll choose one to work on first. The books are inspirational and in the realm of personal development. One is an experiment with a hybrid memoir based on letters to my son. I also plan to self-publish a book of poems I have worked on for a few years. I’m currently working on several e-books on leadership and life transitions. I’m also intrigued by flash fiction and may experiment with it. What of this I’ll actually accomplish, I don’t know. Check in with me a year from now! I'm excited about the future and working on more books!
When Alicia talks about how she became a conduit for some of her chapters, which wrote themselves, it resonated. Memoir is such a relief when it is an outlet for deeply sharing what you know and have lived. I finally found my way to Lewis Hyde’s The Gift, which emphasizes writing, and all artistic work, as both a gift to the artist, and to the people with whom the art is shared. It’s not about the deal, or the agent, or the medium: it is a relationship between giver and receiver, and that’s beautiful.
Another great interview, thank you. 🙏 so much resonates … being spiritual beings having a human experience and the role of Nature as her own sentient being, whose body nurtures ours. Thank you also, for the insights about writing.