69 Comments
Jan 6Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Great advice - I think it definitely has to be one book at a time (even if I always have more than one in mind). Here’s the conundrum for me: how do I balance the time I have for the book with the time it takes to do shorter pieces on Substack or elsewhere - the quick hits that keep me going during a long project? I’m not good at that 😉

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Oh yes I know this one so well — and those quick hits really are important! I find I can do different kinds of writing at different times, so like early morning fresh-brain writing time goes to book writing, but I can usually manage a Substack or smaller piece during a lunch break or evening. It’s not easy though, I hear you! ❤️

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Jan 6Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Because of teaching and other work projects, I find I can’t mix up writing modes on the same day - but yes, it does come down to a balance each week, and if I fail at that, just accepting it’s hard to be perfectly disciplined and trying again.

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Yes! I love the idea of trying to strike a balance each week (rather than each day)…

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Thank you! This is exactly where I am at the moment.

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Me too honestly 💕

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Oof! This hit like conviction, but felt like permission. Especially right now, as I'm looking at the year ahead and attempting to map out all the things I want to do which feels more like getting buried by an avalanche than carving out a trail. I especially appreciated this part:

"One of the most surprising bummers of adult life, in addition to all the brutally boring paperwork involved, is that one has to repeatedly make choices, and furthermore, that whenever we choose something, we are choosing against something else. Even passively letting something happen or not happen is a kind of a choice."

It echoes so closely to a fictional advice column I wrote last year about choices and Fleischman is in Trouble and the horrifying/stunning clarity from reading the book, Four Thousand Weeks. Meanwhile, it never really occurred to me to apply this revelation to my writing! Thank you (so much) for the reminder.

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Oh I love this! And I just read your advice column -- so good!

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Jan 6·edited Jan 6Liked by Sari Botton

Aw thank you so much Amy!! I just finished ‘When Not To Write’ and boy did it resonate. I realized this last year how good I am at showing up to the chair but not so much at filling the well .

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

YES this is the exact post I needed this week. Especially this real talk:

"Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself from disappointment, which is sort of sweet and also sort of, forgive me, totally stupid. Disappointment stings but I’m certain that if you have made it into adulthood, you’ve already survived much worse."

NAILED IT.

I also often need to remind myself that just because I'm choosing one thing now doesn't mean I'm abandoning the other ideas forever. How nice to have other ideas for the future!

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Awww I love this “How nice to have other ideas for the future!” - this is spot on for me currently as I’ve been going through a personal mindset / energetic shift around this exact subtopic!!!

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Jan 9Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

This post is exactly what I need, all the time! Thanks for writing this! <3

Pretty much everything in life -- from the accretion of wonderful newsletters in my inbox to the list of creative projects on my desk -- makes me feel overwhelmed by choices. And the older I get, the more aware I become that I Can't Do Everything I Want To Do.

When I'm feeling my best, I generate far more ideas than I could reasonably write. (For example, right now, I have a list of over 50 blog post ideas -- at least a year's worth). Then I feel overwhelmed because each will take a long time: they all require research, a lot of thinking, or both.

Then, when I'm feeling down, none of the 50+ ideas seem doable or appealing.

Wonder if this constant need to choose Not To Do Other Things is part of the reason I find it difficult to write anything as long as a book?

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Emily I’ve got an “idea list” that is now likely reaching 200 items!! So I’M WITH YOU!

Happy practicing (of choices)!

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Jan 9Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

This is fantastic Amy, thank you. I especially appreciate your suggestion to examine where your energy goes and where it feels the best/highest, coupled with what resources do you have to make it through. Your suggestions apply to all things, not only writing, and I will hold them front of mind.

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author

Ah, I love this. Thanks so much!

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Jan 9Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Thank you - especially for the bit about how not writing the thing means no one can criticize it/it can’t ever be bad. Much easier to stay a perfect unrealized dream. But where is the enjoyment or satisfaction in that, right?

I’ve had a lot (for me, anyway) of creative ideas lately and it’s been really exciting but also leaves me feeling unfocused, and, as I have a full time job unrelated to any of those projects, like I’ll never have time to see them through. Your article helps me accept that one at a time is okay and means maybe one will actually get done!

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Jan 9Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Love this! I am just starting my relationship with writing so I am not sure what my “goals” are. Maybe to continue this feeling of losing myself in the process. I love this feeling! I feel “in the flow”. And another goal I have is to actually get some feedback and learn so I can get better. ❤️‍🩹 I am exploring the best way to do that.

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Feeling "in the flow" is the BEST!!

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Hi Brenna! If you are still trying to wrangle your 2024 goals etc., I recommend you check out my recent post! Maybe it will be of value to you? Maybe not! I just shared that with another writer who commented here.

I’m a coach and it’s the beginning of a new year! Can you blame me? 🤗

https://open.substack.com/pub/actionableanxiety/p/pillar-publication-03-want-to-save?r=rytje&utm_medium=ios

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Nice! I like the tip making your goal a range 🙏🏻

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Jan 9Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

This could not have shown up for me at a better time. I've been caught in this choice trap lately — realizing there's so much I want to work on in 2024 yet not knowing what to prioritize — but the questions helped a lot. It's definitely a blessing to have so much we're passionate about, but frustrating to contend with the limitations of time/energy nonetheless. Thank you, Amy!

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Hi Brina! If you are still trying to wrangle your 2024 goals etc., I recommend you check out my recent post! Maybe it will be of value to you?

https://open.substack.com/pub/actionableanxiety/p/pillar-publication-03-want-to-save?r=rytje&utm_medium=ios

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Oh gosh, I've been feeling bad about myself and the choice I made to focus on one area of writing, instead of working and completing my second book. I feel like you've given me some breathing room and a big, "it's OK, we all must make hard choices."

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Oh good! Yes, we have to make choices sometimes-- annoyingly enough. Best of luck with the writing ❤️

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Thank you.

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Jan 6Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Great post, Amy! One of the wildest parts of writing my first novel is how much I have to continuously trust myself. Every time I make that choice, I then have to trust that it’s the right one, enough at least so that I actually do it. If I think I need to rewrite a whole chapter, I need to trust my choice enough so that half way through Im not like “shit!!” And even though that happens all the time, I think it’s been such a positive thing for me. Developing that trust. Trusting my instincts. Sticking by my choices.

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author

YEP! Exactly this. But it’s hard!!

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Jan 5·edited Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Thank you, this was exactly what I needed to read, although it might mean me temporarly abandoning my own newsletter!

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author

Oof it’s so tricky right?? And we all feel like we always have to be doing all the things...

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Jan 6Liked by Sari Botton

Hustle, hustle, hustle!

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Love this. I've been teetering between a memoir and three half-done novels, unable to work on any of them beyond perseverating for too long. Yesterday during therapy, something popped, and on the way home, an entire new scene for my alternate reality novel downloaded into my tapioca pudding mind and when I got home, I wrote it down and suddenly see so much of how that story can unfold. Guess I made my choice. Thanks for the real talk!

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That’s incredible and also I love “tapioca pudding mind”! I know this feeling too well!

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Wow. Having your post arrive in my email box was perfect timing. By the end of it, i had prioritized my three projects. I’m doing a happy dance. Thanks! 💃

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author

Hooray!

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YES!! this is the best!

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Jan 5Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Thanks Amy. Such an honest write up. It is all about priorities. Adulthood is hard and fun at the same time.

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Thanks for reading!

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Jan 10Liked by Sari Botton, Amy Shearn

Brilliant post. It also reminds me of the Rush lyric, "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."

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author

Good point about that lyric.

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So trueeee

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