I loved reading this. My name is Susan and I love it. But for years I went along with people calling me Sue or Susie and I hated it but never said anything. Finally in my 30s I started telling people I wanted to be called Susan and it’s been so soothing
Thank you Susan! It has brought me so much happiness. Much more than I thought it would have! Names are so important and I feel we all should get to choose our own names and decide what others get to call us. Greetings from Vienna and congrats on choosing your name!
This is an excellent essay with lots of food for thought. To me, “Becks” seems a logical nickname for “Rebecca” as my “Sandy” is for “Sandra.” In some ways, not that big of a a deal, which is probably why some people didn’t particularly react. But what I liked is that you made it a big deal. You drilled down and showed how choosing the gender-neutral version of your name more accurately reflects your bisexuality. Your example of a superior telling your friend “I don’t want to call you Ida,” as “linguistic violence,” I think is a point well taken. It’s one that obviously could be expanded into bullying, racism etcetera, but that you place as a way to deepen your argument. You manage (barely) not to victimize yourself and (barely) not to guilt-trip your friends, and you do this by the variety of reactions you offer up. As they say, the personal is political, and the way you manage exactly that is why I particularly enjoyed your essay.
Love this. So much food for thought. As you say, it's bizarre that our parents get to make this decision for us and then we're stuck with it for life. I love your new name Becks and am celebrating with you as you step more fully into yourself 😀
As someone who did change her name midlife (age 42), I relate to your dilemma. I wondered how my mom would react and when I called her, I said, I didn't think she'd mind because I knew they had named me Donna after Dad's boss, Don.. She agreed and got on board right away. My sisters and brothers all went by either nicknames or their middle names and got on board too. My Dad and Stepmom never did and continued to call me by the old name till they passed. At least they addressed my mail to the new legal name :). I think you'll find, Becks, that everyone will adapt especially when they see how happy it makes you and that you are living your authentic life and following your inner passion. Good luck with the legal issues of getting the change done.
I loved reading this. My name is Susan and I love it. But for years I went along with people calling me Sue or Susie and I hated it but never said anything. Finally in my 30s I started telling people I wanted to be called Susan and it’s been so soothing
Thank you Susan! It has brought me so much happiness. Much more than I thought it would have! Names are so important and I feel we all should get to choose our own names and decide what others get to call us. Greetings from Vienna and congrats on choosing your name!
This is an excellent essay with lots of food for thought. To me, “Becks” seems a logical nickname for “Rebecca” as my “Sandy” is for “Sandra.” In some ways, not that big of a a deal, which is probably why some people didn’t particularly react. But what I liked is that you made it a big deal. You drilled down and showed how choosing the gender-neutral version of your name more accurately reflects your bisexuality. Your example of a superior telling your friend “I don’t want to call you Ida,” as “linguistic violence,” I think is a point well taken. It’s one that obviously could be expanded into bullying, racism etcetera, but that you place as a way to deepen your argument. You manage (barely) not to victimize yourself and (barely) not to guilt-trip your friends, and you do this by the variety of reactions you offer up. As they say, the personal is political, and the way you manage exactly that is why I particularly enjoyed your essay.
I think about names often and this was a beautiful essay about the stories around who we are with what name. Thank you!
Love this. So much food for thought. As you say, it's bizarre that our parents get to make this decision for us and then we're stuck with it for life. I love your new name Becks and am celebrating with you as you step more fully into yourself 😀
As someone who did change her name midlife (age 42), I relate to your dilemma. I wondered how my mom would react and when I called her, I said, I didn't think she'd mind because I knew they had named me Donna after Dad's boss, Don.. She agreed and got on board right away. My sisters and brothers all went by either nicknames or their middle names and got on board too. My Dad and Stepmom never did and continued to call me by the old name till they passed. At least they addressed my mail to the new legal name :). I think you'll find, Becks, that everyone will adapt especially when they see how happy it makes you and that you are living your authentic life and following your inner passion. Good luck with the legal issues of getting the change done.