18 Comments

I was hooked by the first paragraph. I am inspired by how much you told us, so beautifully about your complicated family unit. The way you described your sister’s anger simply stunning.

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Wow, so powerful. This really resonates for me. I'm the middle one of three competitive sisters. Our father died three months ago this Friday. The emotional battles that swirled around Dad's final week could fill volumes. Whether we siblings will experience redemption now that both of our parents are gone is an open question. Thanks for writing this, Gabriella.

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Gorgeous writing. The telling of a whole life in a few moments of caring for an aging parent. I’m in the middle of caring for my mom with my sister, while also writing memoir, and this was scrumptious to read.

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Gabriella (and Sari)- This essay really hit home. As a therapist, I remind clients that relationships end as they lived as beautiful and/or ugly as they were. I never thought this would apply to my mother's end of life. The seeds of division that my mother sowed between me and my brother have poisoned any possibility of a meaningful relationship with my mother (she's living with my brother as she declines). Her response to my worries about losing contact with her, "It's ok, we can talk on the phone every once in a while." WOW!

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I am sorry about your mother’s reply. I know that hurt deeply.

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<3

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The war zone of family, in its endless permutations, so powerfully illustrated here. I’m sorry Gabriella that you did not get what you needed from your inward gazing father, but via his last wish, I hope you and your sister are on the way to family, love and forgiveness-what both of you could not get from your parents.

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Very powerful. I could feel these words. Thank you 🙏

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What an incredible capture of a similar something my sister and brother and I also lived…thank you for your heartfelt and artful articulation. And we all go on, don’t we? Us kindred spirits finding our way through it all with the support of courageous shared words and kindness’s like yours. Again, thank you.

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Wow, this essay is so good, so intense, so real. Thank you Gabriella. And the comments are like a lil therapy session. Thank you Sari and friends 🤓❤️

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Oh, my. This is such a beautiful and heartfelt piece about the complications of family and grief. Thank you for sharing.

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So relatable.

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Well written and very relatable story in so many families. As painful as this was it is mild in comparison to lots of others much worse. However, the author allows you to feel the emotional pain vividly and that makes this story worth reading. Hope they both find the emotional closure they needed and learn it comes from within themselves.

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That was wonderful! Beautifully written and so insightful! The images are stunning! It evoked heartfelt emotions as you felt what the author was going through inside.

And the ending was disappointing in that you hoped for that healing that didn’t happen. How prideful he must have been to ignore how his actions reverberated all those years.

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Very sensitive and loving in every way possible. Thanks for sharing this, I hope there is healing for both you and your sister.

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I really enjoyed this essay it is relatable. Very well written

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I know what I like to read, and this is it. Not only is there the frank and powerful content of your story, but you present it with a narrator's nuanced, humorous, and poignant observations of self and others. You concisely relay real complexities and layers of our collective experience. The writing is smooth and polished, the efforts of strong composition evident. A tidy package exploding with a deep seeing eye on the human experience.

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You could have been writing about my dad,sister and me. Right down to the feeding tube and the rust-colored urine. The officious movements that lacked compassion. The churning of my own stomach as I bit my tongue so as not to have her blow up. Tremendous job writing about the corrosive nature of anger.

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