"I deeply appreciate the way writing stories helps us make sense of our lives, and can invite a broader conversation about humanizing living with mental illness."
Thank you Natasha. For the final 7 years of our marriage, I was the partner- carer of my wife Fran who had her fourth cancer. It was awful but in some ways the happiest time in our life together. During that time and while she slept, I wrote “Men as Friends” a memoir about the male friends I had lost. Their loving memory served as a kind of support group for me.
I struggle with whether I could/should/want to write a memoir about Fran’s and my last years together. It wouldn’t be a tragedy—more an homage. On the other hand, I shutter at the prospect of treating it as a “journey”.
I hate that metaphor. I gave a talk to Australian oncology social workers last year entitled “Cancer is not a ‘journey’: In search of a better metaphor”. My sponsors wouldn’t allow me to insert the word “fucking” or even “effing”. 🤷🏼♂️
It takes enormous strength to remain in touch with all elements of that poignancy as you well know. Triumphalist notions of “journey” are so facile and now cliche. “My weight loss journey”. 😵💫
I had never heard of the letter e structure before and that's exactly how I'm structuring my memoir! I'm glad I have more resources to look into because of this.
Glad that gives you something to dig into. Im trying to remember where I first heard that structure described...If I remember I will get back to you. I'm sure there are tons of resources and book reccomendations on line too
The benefits of being a carer are rarely considered. It’s so often framed as martyrdom. Your title tells us it isn’t.
Thank you Irwin. Well put.
Thank you Natasha. For the final 7 years of our marriage, I was the partner- carer of my wife Fran who had her fourth cancer. It was awful but in some ways the happiest time in our life together. During that time and while she slept, I wrote “Men as Friends” a memoir about the male friends I had lost. Their loving memory served as a kind of support group for me.
I struggle with whether I could/should/want to write a memoir about Fran’s and my last years together. It wouldn’t be a tragedy—more an homage. On the other hand, I shutter at the prospect of treating it as a “journey”.
I hate that metaphor. I gave a talk to Australian oncology social workers last year entitled “Cancer is not a ‘journey’: In search of a better metaphor”. My sponsors wouldn’t allow me to insert the word “fucking” or even “effing”. 🤷🏼♂️
Good luck with your book.
IE
There's a tremendous poignancy to loving what your losing.
It takes enormous strength to remain in touch with all elements of that poignancy as you well know. Triumphalist notions of “journey” are so facile and now cliche. “My weight loss journey”. 😵💫
I had never heard of the letter e structure before and that's exactly how I'm structuring my memoir! I'm glad I have more resources to look into because of this.
It was news to me that this form had a name!
Glad that gives you something to dig into. Im trying to remember where I first heard that structure described...If I remember I will get back to you. I'm sure there are tons of resources and book reccomendations on line too
Thank you! I appreciate it.