So beautifully written. Struggling with something similar and honestly feel like I just want to walk away and pretend this person hasn't existed in my life for the past 45 years. Am I the only person flicking past the beautiful writing and wondering what the hell your therapist did??
Just ordered the hardcover. Can’t wait! How do I write a kind and compassionate memoir about my mother who lashed back and refused to repent until her death, while openly acknowledging what she had done to her ruined family? Or is that just me failing to see her perspective?
Ahh the forgiveness bucket...I say bucket, because the more we talk about it, it seems the more we need to talk about it. Having lived a life that required a lot of forgiveness. One can easily get lost down the road, pondering, hesitating. was that a real apology/ What was the motivation behind wanting forgiveness? In the end, we are not capable of reading someone else's heart, and nor is it our business. Long ago I set out to explore the nature of forgiveness.In the simplest terms, the best I can say, is it is a release. And though, apologies are tied to forgiveness, they are not always necessary, not to mention they are not always possible. "Forgive, as I have forgiven you.." As children, this may seem easy. But as adults, many burdened with trauma beginning in childhood, the forgiveness thing has a whole different form. Through my own therapy, studies. meditations and prayers, I peeled the layers. Once I heard some one say, "I can not forgive that! I draw the line!" I was quick to react...draw the line??? on that pity little thing?? With pride and arrogance in my heart, I judged her as shallow..but everything is a gift. Recognizing my own pride, I got to work on finding the answer to where is my live? Do I even have a line left? Seriously I have forgiven rapes and murder. Where is my line?, I ould ask before prayers and meditation. It did take a few weeks, but there, hiding beneath a carefully polished veneer was the answer. On that day I was graced with a holy vision. Forgiveness is a divine release, and when we release ourselves we release others. And more than that, this release has a reverberating effect through time and space. Forgiveness is like breathing..one cannot live on one breath, it must be repeated as often as necessary. perhaps a lifetime
As a Christian, I’ve forgiven those that have sinned against me over and over again. If I ever wrestle with an unforgiving heart, I just look to Jesus and remember all that I’ve been forgiven. I’m a sinner saved by grace through faith and I repent daily of my selfish desires and actions. I have forgiven abusers, molesters, rapists… not for them but for me. So I can be totally free. The chains that bind us in our grudges will forever hold us prisoner if we don’t break them with forgiveness. All sorts of mental and physical ailments visit those who live with bitterness. Jesus said that he came to give us life, abundant life, and we cannot reach for that if our hands are full of hatred.
I appreciate how you dive into the complexity of it all. I can say I forgive but do I really feel it? Thank you! 🙏🏼
So beautifully written. Struggling with something similar and honestly feel like I just want to walk away and pretend this person hasn't existed in my life for the past 45 years. Am I the only person flicking past the beautiful writing and wondering what the hell your therapist did??
Just ordered the hardcover. Can’t wait! How do I write a kind and compassionate memoir about my mother who lashed back and refused to repent until her death, while openly acknowledging what she had done to her ruined family? Or is that just me failing to see her perspective?
powerful and painful!
Ahh the forgiveness bucket...I say bucket, because the more we talk about it, it seems the more we need to talk about it. Having lived a life that required a lot of forgiveness. One can easily get lost down the road, pondering, hesitating. was that a real apology/ What was the motivation behind wanting forgiveness? In the end, we are not capable of reading someone else's heart, and nor is it our business. Long ago I set out to explore the nature of forgiveness.In the simplest terms, the best I can say, is it is a release. And though, apologies are tied to forgiveness, they are not always necessary, not to mention they are not always possible. "Forgive, as I have forgiven you.." As children, this may seem easy. But as adults, many burdened with trauma beginning in childhood, the forgiveness thing has a whole different form. Through my own therapy, studies. meditations and prayers, I peeled the layers. Once I heard some one say, "I can not forgive that! I draw the line!" I was quick to react...draw the line??? on that pity little thing?? With pride and arrogance in my heart, I judged her as shallow..but everything is a gift. Recognizing my own pride, I got to work on finding the answer to where is my live? Do I even have a line left? Seriously I have forgiven rapes and murder. Where is my line?, I ould ask before prayers and meditation. It did take a few weeks, but there, hiding beneath a carefully polished veneer was the answer. On that day I was graced with a holy vision. Forgiveness is a divine release, and when we release ourselves we release others. And more than that, this release has a reverberating effect through time and space. Forgiveness is like breathing..one cannot live on one breath, it must be repeated as often as necessary. perhaps a lifetime
Your piece here is fantastic. thank you
Thank you for writing this.
What exploration. I love it. Forgiveness can be so tough. And holding on to being wronged doesn't feel good either.
Wow. I think I need this book. Thank you!
I personally don't forgive, nothing that bothers me should come inside me. I don't know if I am strong or weak?
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong” Mahatma Gandhi
As a Christian, I’ve forgiven those that have sinned against me over and over again. If I ever wrestle with an unforgiving heart, I just look to Jesus and remember all that I’ve been forgiven. I’m a sinner saved by grace through faith and I repent daily of my selfish desires and actions. I have forgiven abusers, molesters, rapists… not for them but for me. So I can be totally free. The chains that bind us in our grudges will forever hold us prisoner if we don’t break them with forgiveness. All sorts of mental and physical ailments visit those who live with bitterness. Jesus said that he came to give us life, abundant life, and we cannot reach for that if our hands are full of hatred.
My (sometimes minimized) interest in apology and forgiveness has just been affirmed by this post! Thank you! I look forward to reading your book.